The Absurdity of Modern Politics

Archive for the ‘Letters’ Category

Amnesty Shamnesty: Republican Patsies And Their Email Campaigns

In Letters on February 22, 2009 at 6:15 pm

I recently received an email from a conservative friend of mine containing the above video of Lou Dobbs appropriately disparaging an absurd immigration bill making its way through Congress. My conservative Christian friend has always been relatively and uncharacteristically open-minded about politics and religion, and did not have anything politically partial to say. However, many of the respondents in the email thread had several ignorant things to say, so as usual, I had to respond.

One gargantuan absurdity to note is that the video in question was from a Lou Dobbs show in 2007 discussing a Congressional immigration bill supported by none other than Socialist-in-Chief, George W. Bush. This is a typical Republican tactic, counting on the ignorance of the people to spread false information through chain emails. The dingbat fringe is a tight-knit community and they spread misinformation like wildfire. Witness the thoroughly repugnant Mayor Funderburk’s mass email chain suggesting President Obama is the Antichrist (Is Mayor Funderburk Really “Sloth” From “The Goonies”?), or the pre-election email fraud showcasing a Cook County, Illinois prison that looked like a swank hotel (Cook County Correction Center). The selection of Cook County, Illinois was an intentional attempt to link Obama, who lived and served in Cook County, with a tax-happy, heavy-spending, prisoner-coddling liberal policy. Of course, the prison in the email was actually the Justice and Detention Center in Leoben, Austria, but the rightist patsies ate it up.

Email Recipient Comment:
“for any of y’all that voted for this bunch….take a look at this….it ain’t from Fox, either, from those of you that are pathologically repelled by that network.  It’s from that old bastion of “progressive” thinking, CNN”

In-bred mountain schoolhouse grammar aside, the comment suggests to me that the commenter is “pathologically repelled” by news sources outside of Farce News, the “old bastion” of right-wing propagandistic venom. Faux News and MSNBC are two sides of the same shallow, partisan hackery coin. Both filled with close minded ideologues who spew party talking points. The only thing “fair and balanced” about that xenophobic, homophobic, anti-Christian Klan of hate spewing racists on Fox is that they ideologically oppose MSNBC’s far left group of welfare nannies.

Now, I watch Fake News, MSNBC, and CNN and the only truly fair and balanced cable news network out of the three is CNN. Others include BBC America and PBS. Most CNN viewers know Lou Dobbs is an independent (or at least he claims to be). He is usually in the political middle, despite being considered by many leftists to be a Nazi racist on par with Sean Hannity Lector due to his immigration views. To most independents, Lou is known and Mr. Independence. Who is Faux’s “Lou Dobbs”? Who represents an opposing view to the Klan of intolerant rightists on Fake News? The one sniveling weakling on Foney News, Alan Combes, left the pit of hell for something better. Who’s “left” on Faux News? The closest thing to a fair reporter on Faux News is Sheppard Smith, and he’s taken a lot of heat from Faux’s venomous fans for attacking that embarrassing fraud of a “plumber”, Joe.

On election night, CNN had a panel of left, right, and middle political analysts who mostly stuck to the facts but made supporting comments for their respective candidates, both Obama and McInsane. Until recently, CNN hosted that sniveling faerie Glen Beck. Most of what I see on CNN is actual news, but angry conservatives take it as leftist opinion because for the last 8 years it’s been mostly bad news for rightists. Farce News and MSNBC stack their ranks not with reporters or journalists, but the political equivalents to Jerry Springer and Ellen DeGeneres. Fake News and MSNBC followers wouldn’t know fair and balanced if they had a level and a standard/metric ruler.

By the way, the bullshit claim that Fake News has the most balanced audience of Republican, Democrats, and Independents might be factually true, but it’s also contextually irrelevant. Like many Independents and Democrats that I know, I watch Farce News for the shear gruesomeness of its bloody car wreck-like appeal. I watch CNN to get the facts. Then I consume rightist and leftist content (Faux News, MSNBC, Rush “Anal Cyst” Bimbo, The Huffington Post, The Weekly Standard, Crooks and Liars, etc.) to see how both sides of the spectrum interpret the facts. However, very few rightists I know consume anything other than Faux News.

One more thing about these ignorant comments, the amnesty sham was originally championed by the ex-buffoon, Bushie. In fact, the video attached in the email was from a June 2007 Lou Dobbs show covering a Congressional immigration bill supported by the dim witted W. This email scam is yet another attempt to coax ignorant Republicans into propagating misinformation. Fortunately, the bill was defeated since it treated illegal immigrants better than American citizens, and attempted to pass the hefty cost on to tax payers, which evidently didn’t include tax-dodging illegals. It was a sick bill and offered another example of Bushie’s failed policies. But the point remains, this video and the discussed bill was a Bush-supported Congressional immigration bill, not a current Democratic- or Obama-sponsored bill (not yet, at least). Take some initiative and do a little research into the validity of an email chain’s claims.

Email Recipient Comment:
“Br’er Jeep:  For the ‘Inner Circle’ (the Oneonta-8?) lest the screams mount to the rafters.  Bre’er Prince

“democrats at work.”

Yes, Democrats are dead wrong on this issue (in my opinion). Let’s not pretend, however, that the Republican rule over the past 8 years was anything less than catastrophic. No scapegoating of the Democratic led houses of Congress for the last 2 years of Bushie’s reign. There’s something called a Presidential Veto, which is exactly why the Democrats got nothing done in those two years. Bushie didn’t veto a single bill until the Democrats took control of the House and Senate, so stop blaming Democrats for the mess we’re in. It was absolute Republican rule for 8 years, and look at the results. By the way, same suggestion about researching the claims of an email chain.

Email Recipient Comment:

Again, do most Republicans go to k-12 schoolhouses where all kids sit in the same classroom? Little House on the Prairie comes to mind. First, the bill John Boehner was angry about isn’t part of the recent stimulus package. It was a separate Bush- and McCain-supported bill from 2007 that died a quick death. “WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF SOCIALISM”? Where was all the outrage over Bushie’s TARP bank bailout? When a government buys preferred stock (e.g. acquires ownership) in several banks, what about that isn’t Socialism? George Bush and the 110th Congress did more for Socialism this century than did Spain. Bushie is just shy of Hugo Chavez, so stop with the fake outrage and reflect a little on the policies over the past 8 years. We’re already a socialist country thanks to both Republicans and Democrats. Any congressional or senate vote for TARP was a vote for Socialism. Also, where’s the outrage over the unprecedented spending over the past 8 years that our “CHILDRENS GRANCHILDREN WILL BE PAYING FOR [sic]”?

This isn’t an “OTHER PARTY” problem. There’s been plenty of Republican support for amnesty over the past few years. The majority of Americans are evidently against such sweeping, and expensive, immigration policy. Our representatives are not representing the people, but instead their own interests. This is a problem endemic to power and propagated by both Democrats and Republicans. The people should fire every single incumbent Representative and Senator for the next several election cycles to send a message that the people must be represented. Of course, the criminals on the hill will simply pass legislation extending term lengths to 10 years, so the people will once again resort to divisive political hackery.

Oh, by the way, staunch Nationalism and Christianity don’t mix. “THE SPANISH VOTE” would mean Spaniards, from Spain. I think what you mean is “The Mexican Vote”. Two totally different countries separated by an ocean. Didn’t your schoolhouse have a map or globe of the spherical Earth?

Email Recipient Comment:
“How do you spell insanity?”

Agreed, in principle. Though, insane people typically don’t know they or their actions are insane. The people who pushed this sham of a bill knew exactly what they were doing.

“This makes you wonder how bright some of these people in Congress are.”

This isn’t a case of mere stupidity. Certainly there are many ignorant, stupid, maybe even border-line retarded politicians (case in point, George W. Bush). However, the politics of power are simple matters of greed and corruption. Our representatives know exactly what the people want. Most just don’t give a crap. They’ll do what benefits them and their interests. They’ll fake outrage, spread fear and pit people against one another when election time rolls around, and most patsies will fall in line and re-elect their incumbents. There’s really nothing that will change this in the short-term since there are also far too many ignorant, stupid, maybe even border-line retarded voters out there who will perpetually maintain the status quo (case in point, the re-election of George W. Bush).

As Republican Clayton Williams said about rape during his run for Texas Governor, “As long as it’s inevitable, you might as well lie back and enjoy it.” Socialism, massive spending, bankruptcy, loss of civil rights, shredding of the Constitution, distribution of wealth (trickled up, not down), perpetual war, profiteering, federal abuse of power, and destruction of the environment are inevitable. So, bend over Americans and try to enjoy it.

Letter to Carly Fiorina

In Letters on September 16, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Carly Fiorina speaking at a How to Crash a Campaign seminar. Here she explains the delicacy of eating crow.

Carly Fiorina speaking at a How to Crash a Campaign seminar. Here she explains the delicacy of eating crow.

The following is a letter to Carly Fiorina in response to her recent gaffe that neither McCain nor Palin could run a corporation.  She’s expected to say that neither Obama nor Biden can run a corporation, but she evidently stepped in horse shit on this one.  Speaking of horses, Carly Fiorina walks into a bar…

Dear Carly,

I heard your recent remarks about executive experience during your appearance on the McGraw Milhaven Show on St. Louis KTRS Radio.  You stated that Sarah Palin doesn’t have the experience to run a major company like Hewlett-Packard.  You also suggested on MSNBC that John McCain couldn’t run a corporation.  Your comments obviously suggest that someone who can’t successfully run a large company can still be successful at running the United States of America with the world’s largest economy.  Your statements have obviously raised some concerns, so I’d like you to clarify your position by answering the following questions.

1. Do you consider corporate leadership abilities and government leadership abilities to be mutually exclusive?  Is it not reasonable to conclude that a person who is prepared to run a country is also capable of running a company?

2. Inversely, do you think a person who can successfully run a large corporation, like HP, can also successfully lead a country?

3. Have you learned nothing of presidential leadership in nearly eight years of the current disastrous administration?  George W. Bush was a failed businessman and, subsequently, a failed president.  Bush is an epitomic example that someone who can’t run a business shouldn’t run a country.  Hell, he’s an epitomic example of someone who shouldn’t leave the house without a safety helmet.

4. Given your failures as CEO and Chairman of the Board at HP (crashed corporate value, thousands of lost jobs, outsourcing American’s jobs, opposition to transparency, alleged illegal Iranian trade, and an overall failure of leadership leading to your embarrassing termination and excessive golden parachute), does your logic qualify you to run the United States of America?

5. You’ve repeatedly claimed that HP succeeded after getting rid of you because you laid the foundation for success.  By this twisted logic, are you suggesting that our country will soon thrive because George W. Bush has laid the foundation for success?  Only if we elect another Republican, right?

The choices aren’t so tough after all.  Anybody but McCain/Palin.

Letter to Focus Action’s Stuart Shepard

In Letters on September 1, 2008 at 8:04 pm

Letter to Stuart Shepard in response to his call for mass prayers for a flood to ruin Barack Obama’s speech at Invesco Field in Denver, Co.

Mr. Stuart Shepard,

A couple of weeks ago, you requested that good Christians (like me) pray for significant rain to ruin Barack Hussein Obama’s acceptance speech during the Demoncratic National Convention.  His perverted liberal agenda will destroy the country.  Obama wants to take care of the poor with my tax dollars; give health care to everyone at my expense; ruin our economy by ending war; give women, gays, and minorities the same rights and pay as American citizens; and rescind The Gipper’s trickle-down policies (the economy is already strong, Rush said so).  He’s not the Messiah, we all know Jesus isn’t mixed.

So, I prayed.  I prayed hard for days that rain would drown Obama and his perverted, baby-killing followers, just like you asked.  You told me to pray for a biblical flood, and biblical floods kill people, to which Noah can attest.  However, instead of drowning the liberals, I see that God has responded by sending a hurricane to ruin the blessed Republican Nationalist Convention.  Now, the hurricane is headed straight for my house!  Is God seeking retribution for my ill-intentioned prayers?  Did I sin?  I did what you asked, as always.  Did we somehow make a technical error in our prayers?

Can you ask God what’s going on and get back to me?  I’m very concerned and fear that God may have sided with the filthy Democrats.  In the mean time, I’m going to pray for a swarm of locusts to consume the flesh of the Republican delegation, and maybe a few prominent Republican politicians for good measure. Maybe that will square me away with God.

Anxiously awaiting your holy guidance.

Letter to Sean Hannity for John Edwards Coverage

In Letters on August 9, 2008 at 4:18 pm

The following is a letter I composed in response to the typical partisan coverage of the John Edwards depauchery story.  I’m sure I won’t be receiving a response.

I watched your show this evening, August 8th, 2008, to observe your partisan coverage of the John Edwards infidelity story.  First, John Edwards infidelity and his actions to conceal his moral turpitude is offensive to society.  Also, you are correct when you suggest that infidelity is a character issue that should be considered in a potential presidential candidate.  However, George W. Bush is an alcoholic, but you evidently didn’t hold that against him in 2 presidential elections, did you?  You, Alan Colmes, and a couple of your partisan hack guests stated that this isn’t a political issue, but several of you repeatedly made sad political comments.  You have pathetically and predictably made this a political issue.  I’m curious, how much coverage did you offer when Newt Gingrich dumped his wife after cancer surgery?  How many times has Gingrich contributed to your talk show, and other Fox News sitcoms, after his sickening behavior?  Why aren’t you covering the even more disturbing story of the Republican Missouri state Representative, Scott Muschany, who has been indicted for sexual assault of a 14 year old girl?

One more thing, you repeatedly suggested tonight that journalism is dead.  I’m glad to hear you finally state the obvious.  I’m wondering though, do you include yourself in failed journalism, or are you finally admitting that you’re not a real journalist?

Keep up the grocery store gossip and leave the real news to PBS and BBC.  Who knows, maybe one day you can move up to the National Inquirer.

I’m anxiously awaiting his response, though I’m more likely to be kicked in the balls by a llama.